Imagination

Some of the little boys pretend to be Achilles,
Dipped upside down by their mothers,
Screaming that they’re drowning,
In unheelthy invincibility.

While some of the little girls,
Can’t let go of being Elsa,
Closed off and locked away
From the terrors of friendship.

But all the children on the schoolyard,
Take turns being Spider-Man,
Amazing and sobbing
Over Uncle Ben on the sidewalk.
Surrounded by the other kids
Who pretend to capture the moment
On invisible phones
Not thinking to call for help.

Chalk

Chalk planely crumbles,
Smashes to dust,
Like a sculpture
Plastered tumbling to the ground,
Breaking and making—
Busted,
As it passes over pavement,
In a vaguely personal way.

Icarus

Did you ever imagine we’d fall so far from the sun,
We’d miss the sea?
Or that our waxen wings would ice,
And we’d flap them against the vacuum,
Hoping to find a bit of dirt again?

Going Viral

I want to go viral in all the worst ways,
Impossibly un-alive, unzipping you,
Until you’re all about me,
Everyone is all about me,
And mine and what we made,
Which was mine to start with,
Because you can never make anything
That isn’t me until you’re replaced.

 


 

This poem was first performed in the final minutes of Hermitcraft 5: episode 45:

You can learn more about viruses at your local library, or on the web at: http://jvi.asm.org/

Hallelujah parody about the Acquisitions Incorporated “C”Team

If he could sing about the “C”Team,
@Joehills would sing this to the tune of
Rufus Wainwright’s arrangement of Hallelujah.

——

It’s absurdity in RPG form,
@TychoBrahe’s behind creased cardboard,
But you don’t pull up chairs for humor, do you?
You shouldn’t miss this guy, K’thriss,
He shakes a stone, there’s light eldritch
Compelling you, the viewers, to hit the merch store…

Hit the merch store, hit the merch store,
Hit the merch store, hit the merch store.

Walnut’s grove is gone, which sucks for a Druid,
Plus Maelith’s strong, but Nut’s wising to it.
Sigils on the cave walls stabbed like daggers.
She took wolf form and she howled aloud,
She bit at K’thriss and she snapped her snout,
And by her instincts led you to the merch store…

Hit the merch store, hit the merch store,
Hit the merch store, hit the merch store.

Rosie, she’s shopped there before,
All her grandkids get gifts from this store,
Little halflings with Acq. Inc. pins playing footloose,
I’ve seen them picnic beneath the stars,
Wearing their bright Darkmagic scarves,
It’s a one-stop shop for birthdays at the merch store…

Hit the merch store, hit the merch store,
Hit the merch store, hit the merch store.

Donnar’s a paladin, Dragonborn,
Who treats ev’rybody else with scorn,
But you know that they all deserve it, don’t you?
He gains entitlement from bits—
Or so Jerry claims, so I guess it fits,
And they both expect you all to hit the merch store…

Hit the merch store, hit the merch store,
Hit the merch store, hit the merch store.

Maybe there are gods beyond,
Whose tendrils shift their waking pawns,
But Jerry kind of seems like he has got this.
Except the times when the phones light up,
And ideas arise then outright erupt,
And Jerry’s gone volcanic cursing Rothfuss…

What now, Rothfuss? Come on, Rothfuss,
Ignore Rothfuss, God damn Rothfuss,
Dammit, Rothfuss, my game, Rothfuss,
Go home, Rothfuss, shut up, Rothfuss,
Fucking Rothfuss—let’s not do this.
Hit the merch store, Hit the merch store,
Hit the merch store.

Daily Reflection for May 23rd, 2017

I’ve been kicking around ideas for a while about the sort of questions I’d like to ask myself at the end of each day, or at least days where I have a bit of extra time before bed that I’d otherwise squander, and I’m going to answer a few of them here. I may cycle some questions in and out day-to-day depending on how interesting the answers are.

What did I do to improve myself as a game designer today?

  1. Listened to the first half of Dragon Talk from 04/27/2017  on stealth mechanics in DND5e. Jeremy Crawford stated that the DM is the authority on how effective stealth is in a given situation, but that players should be encouraged to do things to increase the likelihood of success, such as a creating distractions. I need to think of opportunities for players to mess with folks they need to distract.
  2. Spent a few hours driving while thinking about ways to a friendlier way to invite a novice group of DND5e player characters into Barovia to kick off a session of Death House, the introductory adventure included as an appendix to Curse of Strahd.
    The provided premise is that two unchaperoned children crying outside their house at night beg the players to go help their baby sibling trapped inside with with a monster. I felt this opening seemed kind of way too much like a trap.
    My angle is to have the players receive a letter with a job offer from the parents inviting them to meet at their home to discuss the removal of some pesty witches who’ve established a residence in one of the family’s most profitable grain mills. The players would still arrive and find the children crying outside the house, but would be more likely to rush inside to help the rest of the family on the basis of the extended (though not yet enacted) job offer. I’m hoping to try this out next weekend, and if I do, I’ll let you know how it turns out.
  3. Read through the DND5e magical artifacts in the Dungeon Master’s Guide to see if any of them would seem like a reasonable down payment the party could receive as a token of goodwill when accepting a job from a new, unknown employer. It gave me the idea that there should be more Deck artifacts than just the Deck of Many Things or Deck of Illusions, but I haven’t gotten further than wanting to be able to give the players weird cards that do things. Maybe have a “Hellodeck” that lets them ask famous dead heroes or historical figures from within the setting for advice?

What did I do for my fans today?

  1. Added/edited a few pages of this website.
  2. Purchased an actual box fan for my recording studio so I can record through the hot months. Between this and the dustbuster I purchased last week to vacuum the studio, I’m pretty committed financially at this point—above and beyond the long-term lease, anyway. It’s been a big month for engines that propel air.
  3. Brainstormed a few ideas for tomorrow’s Hermitcraft recording. I’m thinking the storage buildings should be constructed of or with whatever they store.

What did I do to improve my health and fitness today?

Not every answer will be a list… especially when it comes to trying to be healthier.

This was a travel day back from the beach, so I loaded and unloaded the car, but otherwise was pretty sedentary. Having decided that I should force myself to answer this question, I’m going to go get the scale and weigh myself for the first time in months, and I’m 167, which would be fine if it were more muscle.

I’ve been tempted to have a question in here like “How many push-ups did I do today?” because I know that will make me go do more than the 0 I have done each day for the last few years. So, Be right back on that. I’m just going to see how many I can do in a row with proper form. Don’t get your expectations up. Okay, 14, so that is about 6 better than I expected.

All this passive toddler carrying I’ve been doing must count as exercise somehow.

Go East, nomad!

We’ve walked toward the sunrise,
Not quite at sunrise,
And away from sunset,
Making camp before sunset,
As long as the eldest remember.

And as quick as everyone can go,
All together, with what we can carry,
We’ve always kept going,
Over little waters
And around larger ones,
But all the arounds now
Just jut into more water,
And the meals are moving
Against the sunrise
And the sunset
And someone needs to tell the elders
That the gods must have drowned
But the next ones will be better.

Convertible

Is computing just a punk rock show:
Noise and distraction are the attraction,
And you want to disrupt that?

Spring has more petals than an auto show,
It’s designs accelerating, while innovations grow,
Each year a revolution, a new release in turn,
An industry in bloom, while those clapped indoors all yearn
For a sky without limit
Boundless
Careless
Un-ceiling.

Bargaining

The Tennessee State Lottery
Is a bargain for anyone
Who needs a daily reminder
God doesn’t favor them.

A two-dollar lesson,
A ward against exceptionalism
Repeated routinely.
God will never let you play to win.
Work for it.

rinkl

I saw an ad for this.
I saw an app for that.

French fries are available any time.
I can drive up, walk up, take out, eat in,
Or order a pizza instead.

I don’t want a pizza.
Or French fries.
I don’t want house of game of orange is the new dead.
I’m dying of exposure to lights and sounds and tastes and pounds of cheese and bread unbreaking.

Ice is all I want, and its freedom is metered.
The city rations out the rink like it’s freshwater on a lifeboat,
Sips of two-hour sessions two days a week,
If you can make them.
And what they miss,
what everyone misses,
Is that it’s really just water on a floor.

This is the moment of any time,
And we can seize it
Together,
If we flood enough warehouses,
Abandoned, unheated,
The city will never find them all.

I don’t want to say,
it’s like Uber for ice skating rinks,
But the precedents they set will help us in court.