Deep into Undermountain

One evening as the sun went down,
And our cooking coals were glowing,
Down the path came a party hiking,
And they said, “folks, we’re all going,
We’re yearning for a portal far away,
In a tavern full of shoutin’
So join us, friends, and let’s descend,
Deep into Undermountain!”

Deep into Undermountain,
There run dungeons hot and cold,
Where the monsters surge in pushes,
And the youngest runes are old,
Where the mimics all lie waiting,
And the goblin werebats roost,
All the wisps and wasps,
And the mezzoloths,
The hidden pit,
Where we’ll all plummet,
Deep into Undermountain

Deep into Undermountain,
All our blades will sing like choirs,
As our arrows strike like drumbeats,
And our green flame pops in pyres,
Our barbarian will stomp a brute,
As the rogues dance shadowplay,
O we’re sworn to go,
At a great tempo,
We’ll chant our spells
As we now delve,
Deep into Undermountain,

Deep into Undermountain,
You’ll always find new gear,
And your old mundane accoutrement,
Can be handed down, don’t fear.
The magic items you’ll attune,
And the artifacts you’ll find,
There’s armor with gems,
And weird potions,
And a propeller hat
that lets you ascend,
Deep into Undermountain.

Deep into Undermountain.
The Mad Wizard stood gates,
So folks can open portals,
He left clues to activate,
He has a thing for puzzles,
And he likes to throw his voice,
We’re going to delve,
To where he dwells,
To the lowest tower,
To seek his power
Deep into Undermountain.

I’ll see you there, the lowest lair,
Deep into Undermountain.

Where in these Chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?

Where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?
Well, he builds around the island,
From Modern to Medieval,
He’s a sticky-piston-pusher from build height down to bedrock.
He’ll take you on a flight to the Convex Cathedral.

Tell me where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?

Swipe your soul sand from the nether,
Make the village golems bubble,
From our redstone to Grian Tag, he’ll be dealing abuse.
I never Tennessee him steal from his base to the portal,
Tell me, where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?
Tell me, where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?

He’ll go from village to void space,
From the end to Iskall’s base,
From Mumbo’s to TangoTek’s fountain, and back!

Then he’ll ban half Hermitcrafters,
Run a gauntlet, jewel-encrusted,
Then he’ll have the Convex plunder,
And go prank Python’s Pots.

He put the mail in malefaction when he tampered with my postbox,
Tell me, where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?
Tell me, where in these chunks, tell me where can he be?

From mob spawner to far lands,
From spawn via Pirate Land,
Tundra to jungle to iTrade to loot you.

Well he swims beneath the seas,
Just to sell immoral coral,
He’s a bubble-breathing brigand with a flair for dolphin speed,
His shulker box is loaded up with maps for his mural,
Tell me where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?
Tell me, where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?
Tell me, where in these chunks is Cubfan of the Convex?


Here’s me performing this terribly:

My Destiny’s In Tennessee

Lyrics by Joe Hills, music and vocals by Sean Hills.
Download as an .mp3 here.

Folks say to be the very best…
You’ve gotta travel cross the land,
But I’m happy here at pretty good…
Just out walking with my friends.
So you can fly from coast to coast…
For all Niantic’s events.
But my destiny’s here in Tennessee…
My pokedex in hand.

You run your laps chasing licktungs in Providence,
And you arc your throws for electabuzz in Saint Louis,
But when you’re lost in Boston seekin’ Pokestops, boo hoo!
We’ll all still be spinning them up on Rocky Top, it’s true!

While you can race to catch em all…
And fall flat on your face,
We’ll hatch our togepis here in Tennessee,
At our own pre-destined pace.

We don’t need tangelas from Las Angeles…
If you’re there chasin charizard,
You’re making your life way too hard,
Clutching garlic, pounding pavement,
Down ventura boulevard.

We don’t need nidoqueens from down New Orleans.
I hate to rain on solo you,
But parades need a willing crewe,
All those squirtles on St Charles,
Saw you wandring and withdrew!

While you can race to catch em all…
And fall flat on your face,
We’ll hatch our togepis here in Tennessee,
At our own pre-destined pace.

We don’t need lapras from Minneapolis,
Or Pellippers from Mississippi,
There’s enough wheedles on Monteagle,
We could evolve a swarm of beedrill,
There’s enough snubbull, down in Shelbyville,
We could team a sled with Granbull!

We don’t want porygon from out in Oregon.
Or any pikachus from up in Massachusettes.
Sorry, Professor Oklahoma,
We’ll raid gyms in Tullahoma.
Sorry, Pokecoin Palooka,
We’ll hatch on hikes in Chattanooga.

While you can race to catch em all…
And fall flat on your face,
We’ll hatch our togepis here in Tennessee,
At our own pre-destined pace.